Shakespeare's Pub, by Pete Brown

Pete Brown truly understands the appeal of a pub. Not just the camaraderie when sitting on a stool with a beer, but the security blanket aspect they can project in absentia as well. "We take pubs for granted. We think they'll always be there when we need them, unchanging, just how we left them. And if we don't visit them for weeks, months, or years, and we come back and find them changed, we're outraged. If we come back and find them closed, we berate all the other people who should have come here more often and kept them in business." This innate understanding of our relationship colors every word of Shakespeare's Pub for the better.

I enjoy hanging out at my local pub, but I certainly couldn't write over 300 pages about its history. Of course, B. B. Rover's hasn't been around for over six centuries, either. The George Inn at the foot of London Bridge is so old that the actual opening date is lost to the dusty past, but Brown does an entertaining job of sleuthing and maintains that it goes back to at least the 1380s. "If you are writing a history of anything, it makes sense to start that history with the date the damn thing was first built, invented, born or otherwise hurled into existence." He then proceeds to cover the entire history of the inn and southern London through the present day. This time period covers the rise of live theater (Shakespeare's Globe Theater was nearby), popular literature (Dickens used the George as a setting for Little Dorrit), and the entire stagecoach era (the George is the last remaining coaching inn in London). Pop culture references are used throughout (the TARDIS is used as a literary device to occasionally change the time period) and the footnotes often had me in stitches. This is the first of Pete Brown's books I've read but it certainly won't be the last.

First Sentence:

A century and a half, or thereabouts, after the last stagecoach thundered under the arch and out of its yard, the George Inn can be reached easily via the number 149 bus.

Floodmarkers, by Nic Brown

Set in North Carolina when Hurricane Hugo came ashore, Floodmarkers is a collection of loosely connected character studies. What sets it apart from other similarly structured works like Winesburg, Ohio or Our Town is seeing how the stress of the hurricane affects everyone: as the flood rises, so do tensions. A pedophile whose secret is exposed by the water and a grandfather robbed by a gypsy are only two of the unique characters found within. Both disturbing and funny at the same time, this book isn't always upbeat but well-suited for a rainy afternoon.

First Sentence:

The lights were off but the glass door was unlocked and Cliff followed Matthew into the tanning salon.

It's a Man's World: 800 Jokes from the Guy's (Warped) Point of View, by Judy Brown

This is an odd collection of humor: borderline misogynistic but not obscene, definitely politically incorrect. Many reminded me of the jokes I thought were dirty in fourth grade: not yet pornographic but certainly not to be told in front of my parents, either. Funny stuff, but not for everyone. A sampling of my favorites:

I can’t get past the fact that food is coming out of my wife’s breasts. What was once essentially an entertainment center has now become a juice bar.

—Paul Reiser

The cop asked how fast I was going. I said, “All I know is I spilled beer all over my hooker.”

—Craig Kilborn

Every porno movie should be called “Stuff That Never Happens to You.”

—Richard Jeni

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. “Did you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?” she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, “I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you too.”

—Jake Johannsen

Two guys walk into a bar. You’d think one of them would have seen it.

—Daniel Lybra

Dating is hard, and I figured out why. It’s those damn romantic comedies. No guy can be this nice, sweet, and understanding. Here’s a good example, my ex and I get out of a movie and she turns to me and asks, “Why can’t you be more like those guys in the romantic comedies?” So I turned to her and said, “I don’t know, why can’t you be more like the chicks in pornos?”

—Todd Larson

What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why.

—Adam Ferrara

I celebrated Thanksgiving in the traditional way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast. And then I killed them and took their land.

—Jon Stewart

I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. The judge asked me, “Do you know what the penalty for drunk driving in this state is?” I said, “I don’t know. Reelection to the Senate?”

—Emo Philips

Ha.

First Sentence (from the foreward):

It may no longer be a man’s world exclusively, but for the sake of the little boy in all of you, I’ve constructed a joke version of The Little Rascals’ He-Man Woman Haters Club: a book where male comedians promote masculine humor for guys who may feel nostalgic for those bygone days in which they seemed to get their way.

One Heartbeat II, by Mack Brown and Bill Little

From the title I knew this was a follow-up to One Heartbeat, but I expected more of a sequel rather than a rehash. The first two-thirds of One Heartbeat II are identical to the previous volume; the remaining chapters tell the story of the Texas Longhorn’s 2005 National Championship season. While this is a fascinating and exciting story, I admit I was hoping for more. That said, being a Longhorn Foundation member and football season ticket holder for over 15 years, I loved reading about how the team battled through the season and won the crystal football! If you haven’t read the first book, read this one instead. If you have read the first one, read this one anyway!

First Sentence (from the Prologue):

It was twilight at the house on Waters Edge, and the gentle breezes coming off the lake left only a muted memory of the sweltering sun that had begun the day.

One Heartbeat, by Mack Brown and Bill Little

I read this well over a year ago and could have sworn I wrote about it then. Apparently I didn’t, though, as it isn’t anywhere to be found. It seems unlikely that Blogger lost a post, so I’m going to assume I simply forgot. I certainly prefer that to the idea that I’m randomly losing my posts!

This was a fascinating read—part-biography and part-psychology. It is largely a collection of anecdotes that demonstrates the lessons Mack Brown tries to impart to his athletes, but with a healthy dose of the career path Mack has taken thrown in. I found the story of how and why he left North Carolina for Texas quite interesting. About this time every year we see the coaching carousel fire up and often we hear coaches claim loyalty one day only to leave the next. We get the inside story of what happened when Mack changed jobs. Recruiting, teamwork, dealing with adversity, attitude, and honesty are some of the other topics tackled here. One of my favorite lessons applies to parenting as much as it does coaching: “It is all about training people ... when there is nobody else around, to make the right choice.” One Heartbeat will appeal to many people: coaches and managers looking for ways to lead others, fans of college football, and of course, anyone with Longhorn pride!

First Sentence:

To the farmer, it is a prayer for rain even when meteorologists say it won’t.