Bonk, by Mary Roach

If you are shy or uncomfortable with the topic of sex, then this is not the book for you. The title of the introduction is "Foreplay" and it ramps up from there. Bonk is subtitled The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex and this is not an exaggeration. From scientific examinations of the penis, testicles, and clitoris to coital imaging to sex toys to genital transplants and implants, this book has it all. Oh, and it is funny as hell, too!

Roach has an amazing writing style that allows the reader to delve deeply into the mechanics, psychology, and science of intercourse while maintaining a laugh-out-loud approach to the topic at hand. For instance, by taking MRIs of people in flagrante delicto scientists learned that after penetration the penis has the shape of a boomerang. Roach helpfully adds, "But not the precise dynamics. If you hurl an uprooted penis into the air, it will not come back to you. It will most likely, and who can blame it, want nothing to do with you." We also learn that sex hormones "make individuals perceive other individuals as more attractive than they'd normally perceive them. Hormones are nature's three bottles of beer." Even the footnotes are hilarious: "Nasal congestion is an erection inside your nose." "Who clubs a hamster? What would you even use to deliver “a blow” to a head that small?" "The Anal Pad should not be confused with a prior invention called the Anal Napkin, which, in turn, should not be confused with the dinner napkin." "Nominations for a Nobel Prize ... remain secret for fifty years. You make the claim, and nobody can prove otherwise until after you're dead. Add one to your résumé today!"

I enjoyed her earlier book Stiff (about cadavers, not erections) and this one was just as entertaining. If you are interested in how scientific research about sex is conducted or the physiology of the reproductive system (or simply want to laugh a lot), Bonk is a good choice. If, however, you are less interested learning in what an orgasm scientifically is and would rather learn how to cause an orgasm, maybe check out Ian Kerner's She Comes First.

First Sentence:

Albert R. Shadle was the world's foremost expert on the sexuality of small woodland creatures.

The Psychopath Test, by Jon Ronson

I don't have much use for psychology or psychiatry. These are the branches of science used by those that seemingly justify such nonsense as curing homosexuality. Psychology experiments often seem to be ethically murky and confirm their initial hypotheses at an unbelievably high rate. On the other hand, I'm not someone that believes mental illness isn't a real disease, either. Like most things, there are good and bad aspects to psychology and clearly it has helped thousands of people live happier lives. So, when my book club chose The Psychopath Test as the monthly selection I was intrigued and looking forward to a closer examination of the industry.

I found this look into psychology and psychopaths in particular fascinating. Ronson examines all sides of the situation, talking with editors of the bible of mental disorders (the DSM-IV-TR), extreme 9/11 Truther and self-proclaimed messiah David Shayler, the author of the most common tool for diagnosing psychopathy (the PCL-R), and a powerful group Scientologists that are trying to stamp out psychology entirely (the CCHR). Written in first person Ronson seems greatly influenced by whichever group he speaks with last, see-sawing between radically different points of view. He doesn't really make any conclusions, but simply walks through the various beliefs and allows the reader to decide on his own. Most compelling to me was the debate about where the line between mentally ill and simply eccentric is drawn; what I learned here makes me a bit scared as to how fast we jump to diagnosing illness and prescribing drugs for behaviors such as hyperactivity and short tempers—especially in children.

The most surprising aspect of the book is the revelation that not all psychopaths are criminal; in fact, they are everywhere and often lead normal lives. A desire to win and a love of power are common sociopathic traits, as is a lack of normal human feelings. "They're the boss or coworker who likes to make other people up just for the pleasure of seeing them jump. They're the spouse who marries to look socially normal but inside the marriage shows no love after the initial charm wears off." Even more disturbing than the psychopath next door is the realization that these behaviors result in a preponderance of such people in leadership positions. "The higher you go up the [corporate or political] ladder, the greater the number of sociopaths you'll find there." From now on I'll be equating politicians with psychopaths, which frankly explains a lot about our government.

First Sentence:

This is a story about madness.

Running With Scissors, by Augusten Burroughs

This is a troubling memoir of a twelve-year-old boy with mild OCD whose mother gave him away to her bizarre psychiatrist to be raised as a member of his own family. Unfortunately, this new family brings a new meaning to the term unorthodox, where children of all ages have no rules to follow, smoke cigarettes and pot, have sex, and live in a filthy and structurally unsound house. "The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do." Some of the doctors patients periodically move in for extended periods of time as well, including a pedophile. Burroughs begins an intense homosexual relationship with this pedophile that is nearly twenty years his senior, but neither his mother nor his adopted family seems to have any issues with it. The book ends with a now 17-year-old Burroughs headed to New York City without any real plan of where to stay or how to make a living, but generally unconcerned about the situation. "Of course I can make it in New York City. ... Unwittingly, I had earned a Ph.D. in survival."

I'm sure parts of this autobiography are sensationalized but enough of it is clearly true to show just how disturbed some people in this world are. In Golding's Lord of the Flies we see a group of children without supervision devolve into madness; what is more unsettling about Running With Scissors is that there are uncomfortable similarities at times but it isn't fiction. I find it shocking that the only lawsuit that resulted from this was against the author for libel and not against any of the supposed authority figures who let this all happen. It is amazing that Burroughs came out of this squalid home and irresponsible upbringing with enough wit and wisdom to write a searingly honest bestseller. This isn't the sort of book anyone truly enjoys, but it is certainly worth reading.

First Sentence:

My mother is standing in front of the bathroom mirror smelling polished and ready; like Jean Naté, Dippity Do and the waxy sweetness of lipstick.

Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership, by Gary L. McIntosh and Samuel D. Rima

What can we learn from the failure of other leaders? This is an interesting question, and at times the authors do a good job of discussing it. The dark side refers to motivations and dysfunctions that cause us to succeed or fail. Many motivations can be positive, but then turn negative when taken to extremes. For instance, a tendency to perfectionism can be a great driver for success, but if allowed to dominate it can lead towards needing absolute control of everything and everyone. Leadership requires passion (“If you did the job to just get by, you would eventually pay for it.”), but an excess of passion leads to zealotry which dramatically reduces your scope of influence. Learning to recognize and harness these potentially harmful traits is a good exercise in self-reflection and humility.

Unfortunately (for me, anyway), the context of the discussion is almost entirely religious, and leads to untenable conclusions for my worldview such as, “It is through this process of learning about ourselves and progressively dealing with our dark side that we avoid its destructive paradox and allow God to exercise more control over our leadership.” Becoming an effective leader is my goal, not becoming a pious one. The entire book isn’t a loss, though; while overly preachy, using scriptural references as examples is often fairly effective in several places: Moses is described as a compulsive leader and shown to be status conscious and judgmental; Solomon is a narcissistic leader who overestimates his own achievements while minimizing others.

Overall there are some useful lessons here, but I found myself rolling my eyes entirely too often to actually recommend this. “We gave found an annual performance review to be not only challenging but also extremely encouraging and humbling as we see the ways God is effectively using us.” A similar take on this subject which I will recommend, especially when it comes to identifying types of leaders, is John Hoover’s How To Work For An Idiot.

First Sentence:

Like water exploding from behind a broken dam the words gushed out, laced with a frightening combination of anger and bitterness, “I quit!”

Why We Do It, by Niles Eldredge

In 1976 Richard Dawson penned The Selfish Gene which expounded on a popular theory in evolution theory saying that genes whose attributes successfully promote their own duplication will be selected in favor of their competitors. More simply, evolution works at a genetic level rather than at at a sexual level; it is our genes that drive reproductive behavior rather than the desire for the prettiest women to mate with the most virile men. Eldredge is highly critical of this theory, and Why We Do It lays out his argument.

Reproduction doesn’t drive all aspects of our culture today; economics and society has a much bigger influence. To Eldredge this means that genes can’t be actually driving behavior but instead simply carrying information. This information is used to build larger organisms which then choose if and when to reproduce. The drive to eat and survive is stronger than the drive to procreate, and sex has become largely decoupled from simple reproduction—humans do not go into heat (Spring Break not withstanding) and choose our mates on features other than proximity. Sex exists for its own sake in society as recreational; Viagra doesn’t exist to help couples have children, and birth control certainly doesn’t either. Our genes don’t drive us to reproduce, and sex happens for fun much more often than for baby-making.

This is an interesting book, but Eldredge vacillates wildly between science and opinions, often losing his point in snark. He often castigates his intellectual opponents, calling their theories absurd or astonishing. He dislikes media as well, complaining they are “besotted with genes.” While I tend to agree with many of his theories, I found this level of disdain more appropriate for a religious or political text rather than a scientific one.

First Sentence:

Why do people have sex?

Sway, by Ori and Rom Brafman

At times, we act all irrationally. Sometimes we hold on to a crashing stock hoping it will regain its value, or stay in a bad relationship because it is easier than saying, “Good bye.” The authors examine why we ignore logic and rely more on instinct when making decisions. This isn’t a study on bipolar disorder or addictive behaviors, but instead on how a normal individual’s view on the world and society affects the way he thinks.

One of the most interesting sections deal with labels. Simple words when applied to something or someone can dramatically affect how it is viewed: labels cause us to take mental shortcuts. A great example is found in sports (well, basketball anyway): low draft picks in the NBA consistently play fewer minutes that higher ones regardless of the level of their play. “Score points, catch a lot of rebounds, block shots, and make steals, and it still won’t affect your playing time as much as your draft order does, even years down the road.” Other well researched anecdotes show this phenomenon applies to virtually everything. I suppose that explains why Titanic was so popular...

Another interesting section was a discussion about which areas of our mind can operate in parallel and which can’t. “Unlike, say, the parts of our brain that control movement and speech, the pleasure center and the altruism center cannot both function at the same time: either one or the other is in control.” So, we can be selfish or charitable, but not both at the same time. Interesting.

This book reminded me of Predicably Irrational, although I liked it more. Initial observation affects later behavior, and even knowing this fact doesn’t alter anything. Easy to read and not overly long, this makes a good book for an afternoon of relaxation.

First Sentence:

The passengers aboard KLM Flight 4805 didn’t know it, but they were in the hands of one of the most experienced and accomplished pilots in the world.