Game Night, by Jonny Nexus

Ever played Dungeons and Dragons with a self-important game master, a headstrong player that messed up the plot, or a stickler for every last rule? This story follows just such a group, with the fun twist that they are all gods and actually controlling real people instead of imaginary characters. (The fact that these are gods leads to throwaway jokes such as, “He remembers something Mr Six Days once boasted about that involved a cat, an experiment, and some terribly clever aspect of his realm.”) The opening chapter sets the tempo well, with one guy refusing to wait for the entire scene to unfold and killing a character before he is able to help the adventurers. Truly hilarious!

In one of my favorite bits, the game master is trying to set the scene by describing a meal, but one player is having none of it.

“I didn’t say I was eating!” protests the Warrior angrily.
“You don’t want to eat breakfast?” the AllFather asks warily.
“It’s not about whether or not I breakfast!”
[Further discussion about the benefits of an early meal takes place...]
“Fine. Do you come to breakfast?”
“Yes!”
“Thank you. As I was saying, after breakfasting on honeyed bread and exotic fruits-”
“I did not want fruit!”
The Jester holds his head in his hands. “In the name of everything that ever was and ever shall be, can we please, please, just get past breakfast?”

While this is supposed to be a parody of role playing games, this scene was entirely too familiar from my past. Humor that hits close to home is some of the best! If you like the work of Pratchett, Foglio, Asprin, or DeChancie then this book is for you.

First Sentence:

The Riddle was old, for it was as old as the Gate, and the Fate had guarded the head of the Valley since men first walked upon the World.