Thursday, December 17, 2009

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, by Tucker Max

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, by Tucker Max

Tucker Max is one of the most reprehensible human beings to ever write a book. It also happens to be possibly the funniest book I’ve ever read. I took I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell on an airplane and found myself literally laughing out loud more than once. The lovely British lady across the aisle asked to see what was so clearly amusing me and I passed her my copy. After she read the title and back cover, it was coolly handed back to me without a word—she wouldn’t even look at me for the rest of the flight. Yeah, it is that kind of a book!

Max sleeps with any woman he can, drinks himself to oblivion with his friends, and ridicules every one else he meets. He is rude, crude, and has an ego the size of New Jersey. Instead of these traits making him become that asshole at the end of the bar hitting on everything that moves, though, he started blogging about his exploits, turned the blog into this book, and the book into a movie. A big of a raunchy jerk as Max seems to be, I think I’m jealous!

Instead of a review, I will just post these quotes:

  • “I barely remember what she looked like (thank you, Dollar Beer Night).”
  • “We decide that we are starting to like Texas. Baby Dolls does nothing to derail our crazy train.”
  • “Don’t let anyone tell you different: The only good part about Duke is that it is 15 minutes from UNC-Chapel Hill.”
  • “He’s the type of drunk that makes you wonder why alcohol is classified as a depressant.”
  • “You have not heard a girl scream during sex until you’ve heard a deaf girl come. It was literally like a cross between a retard scream and the noise a horse makes when it’s being slaughtered.”
  • “She was 18 and had left Florida State two months into her freshman year because it was too difficult... She was literally just too stupid for Florida State. TOO STUPID FOR "FREE SHOE UNIVERSITY!"”
  • “If you EVER speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt using the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nuggets explode in your mouth.”
These perfectly capture the tone of the book: offensive, misogynistic, and laugh-out-loud funny.

First Sentence:
I used to think that Red Bull was the most destructive invention of the past 50 years.

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